Humor Under The KEYBOARD

Bruce Hornsby performing on a Steinway concert grand piano.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. Pianists are the most perfectionist people in the world. They should not and can not make mistakes especially when performing. That is how I viewed the piano and the pianists. But then, I just found out I was wrong. A few types of research and I have once again proven that appearances can be deceiving.

The pianists we see play appear to be the most formal and respectable stars on the stage. They hold the power and the breadth of the audiences. They could look intimidating in their formal suits not to mention the authority and the air of arrogance they exude while on stage. They can be captivating.

But before we forget, these pianists are also human. And humans do make mistakes. Most of these mistakes can be frustrating and depressing. But then, there are also mistakes that are amusing and could also be totally hilarious. It shows how fun could be inserted even in the most seemingly stuffy and proper event.

Here are some examples:

When asked for their definition of a piano, some famous musicians and musical enthusiasts have some famous replies:

· For David W. Barber (The Musician's Dictionary), a piano is a cumbersome piece of furniture found in many homes, where playing it ensures the early departure of unwanted guests.

· Piano (n.) is a parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience, according to Ambrose Bierce, an American journalist (The Devil's Dictionary).

· A piano tuner is a person employed to come into the home, rearrange the furniture, and annoy the cat. The tuner's chief purpose is to ascertain the breaking point of the piano's strings.

Though these definitions may sound humorous, you can never miss the ironies in it. Coming from people who live and breathe the piano, these definitions seem odd.

Here's more - when asked about their secrets in playing, you would certainly be surprised at how simple their secrets can be, and definitely applicable.

· Australian pianist Artur Schnabel said, "I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play".

· "Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled", said George Bernard Shaw, a writer, and a music critic.

I definitely agree with Artur Schnabel's top secret! I wonder why George found it relaxing to have his teeth drilled after hearing the pianoforte recitals. Check out more of the piano's funny side:

· Bob Hope, an American comedian commented on fellow comedian Phyllis Diller on her playing the piano: "When she started to play, Steinway himself came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano."

· A band teacher recalled the title of the song "Claire de Lune" played by a student as "Claire de Loonie".

· The audiences at a piano recital were appalled when a telephone rang just off stage. Without missing a note, the soloist glanced toward the wings and called, "If that's my agent, tell him I'm working!"

Now, let's check out some famous questions and answers in the funny world of the piano:

· What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor

· What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major

· Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright? Because it makes a much bigger kaboom when dropped over a cliff.

· Why was the piano invented? So that the musician would have a place to put his beer.

· Why did they say that the pianist had fingers like lightning? They never struck the same place twice.

· What did they find when they dug up Beethoven's grave? He was decomposing.

· Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because they always ran around going, "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

· Imagine a singer, a piano player, a bass player and a drummer sitting around the table. Now if you drop a hundred-dollar bill right in the middle and tell them they're free to take it, who's getting it? The piano player. Because the bass player is too slow, for the winger it's too little money and the drummer didn't get the assignment.

Now that we've seen the humor under they keyboards, the piano and the pianists are not as elusive as they seem to be. It is just like discovering a new type of music. The piano and the pianist can take not just the breath out of the audiences but also the laughter as they present not only fine music but terrific humor as well. Having fun is what life is all about.

---

---

---

Its all about MUSIC

"Music is either good or bad, and it's got to be learned. You got to have balance." 

Louis Armstrong

Music Instruments Music instruments are used to generate music and is being controlled by a musician so as to get desired sound effects. The origin of music instruments is as old as music itself when traditional musical instruments were used. These instruments are categorized as aerophones (brasses and woodwind), chordophones (strings), idiophones and membranophones.

Stringed instruments such as violin, guitar, mandolin, fiddle, harp, banjo, cello etc produce sound when a string is plucked. Brasses and woodwind produce sound when air enters and vibrates the instrument. Flute, saxophone, piccolo, mouth organ, bassoon are a few examples of wind instruments. Other musical instruments comprise of electronic and keyboard instruments.

Music Instrument stores You can get any of the musical instruments through directly from the craftsman who has designed it or dealers and other superstores. You can get any type of the musical instrument you want as per the brand, price or model. These superstores also provide DJ equipment, live recording instruments and many other accessories such as guitar amps, microphone accessories, racks and strap locks etc. There are many discount musical instrument shops that provide music instruments at much-discounted rates and offers.

Music Instrument Dealers Dealers are the people who act as a middleman in between the manufacturer and customers. They could be wholesalers, retailers and sometimes even the manufacturers themselves. They sell different musical instruments as well as parts and accessories associated with different musical instruments. Many of them have even launched their websites and are selling their products through the internet. They also offer services such as repairs, shipping of the product and free services. A dealer also helps you in understanding the features of any of the music instrument and guides you through the use of different music players.

---

---

---

All The Reasons For Playing MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS

In this article, we will look at some reasons for playing musical instruments. Learning to play a musical instrument can offer many benefits, if you really want to learn how to do something in your lifetime, then you should think about learning to play a musical instrument.

Let’s look at some reasons why in this article:

Reasons for playing musical instruments - You can become smarter

Studies have shown that those that play a musical instrument in school, do better with their studies than those who do not. It is said that playing musical instruments has a therapeutic effect on the brain. By playing musical instruments from a young age, they develop ones reading skills, a child’s ability to learn, and they also raise the child’s IQ. Adults can benefit also because it makes one able to focus better resulting in effects such as more mental focus and improved memory.

Reasons for playing musical instruments - Learn Discipline

Many people who play music are very disciplined. You have to be disciplined in order to master the instrument you are playing. You need to set aside time each day to practice, practice, and further practice. While many people goof around watching TV and Gossiping, you have to set that time aside to practice on your chosen instrument.

Reasons for playing musical instruments - Instruments relive stress

When you hear soft soothing music, it can de-stress many people. We all need days when we need to just sit and soothe our minds. Life can be hectic and stressful. Playing an instrument can relax you by calming the mind.

Reasons for playing musical instruments - A sense of achievement

If you’re new to playing a musical instrument, getting your first piece right can be very frustrating. However, once you achieve this, you can have an overwhelming feeling of achievement and satisfaction.

Playing musical instruments is fun

Playing an instrument can be very hard work, but most people who play will tell you that playing an instrument is a whole lot of fun. Once you get better playing your chosen musical instrument, you will be able to demonstrate what you have learned to families and friends.

You may even choose to go further with your skills and aim for playing musical instruments at a professional level. Playing musical instruments opens up many possibilities which can only be a positive thing. We are sure that by learning to play a musical instrument, your life can only be enriched.

---

---

---

Shopping For A MUSIC STAND?

A wooden music stand.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Make sure you buy the right one!

Shopping for a music stand is easy. Deciding which music stand will fit your needs might not be as easy.

To shop for a music stand all you have to do is go to a music store or do an online search. If you walk into a music store you’ll see the music stands the prices for each. If you do an online search, you can see pictures of the music stands that are out there and again find out how much each one is. That is the easy part.

The hard part is figuring out which music stand you need. There are several different music stands that are designed very differently.

The opera stand is an illuminated music stand for the opera singer. The stem on it is designed so that it does not interfere with the opera singer’s feet if they sit down. The opera stands can be nested together for easy storage.

The wooden stand is made to match a modern or historic concert hall. These stands are made of polished metal stems and natural wood trays. These stands nest together for compact storage also.

The jazz stand is a music stand that folds. It will fold down to the size of the tray. It is an adjustable stand for sitting or standing to play or sing. To store them, they will stand right next to each other or you can store them folded. If they are folded, they store one right on top of another.

The school music stand is designed for students. It is unbreakable. It does not have knobs, but rather raises and lowers easily. It has an extra lip on the tray for pencils and erasers. These also nest together for easy storage.

The studio stand is a modern looking stand for all types of musicians. It is like the opera stand, except it does not have the light attached to it. It is designed so that if the musician swings their legs, they will not knock the stand over. Like many of the other music stands, they are designed to be nested together for storage.

The scherzo stand is a foldable stand. It is made of aluminum. The aluminum makes it very lightweight for easy transportation.

Now that you know how each music stand is designed, you can decide which music stand will work best for your music needs.

---

---

---

MUSIC - A pure joy

Music has been an inevitable part of our day to day life. Be it the chirping of birds, babbling of babies or the rhythm of nature you will find music everywhere. When you listen and hear sweet music tunes you are left behind with the weaving magic of one of its kind.

It is around 50,000 years back that music has evolved and now it seems to be an integral part of our body and soul. Music plays a great role in our lives:

1. It has been found in a research that children listening to music are more likely to become engineers, doctors and computer professionals because of the fact that music learning develops certain important areas of the brain responsible for reasoning and language. Therefore, it is also known for sharpening memory of an individual.

2. A child who has taken birth from the womb of a mother who had listened to music is much intelligent than others.

3. Music is used widely for many therapeutic purposes so as to heal mental problems and other learning disabilities in a person. It also heals diseases such as hypertension, brain trauma and provides relaxation during stress.

4. It teaches a person how to coordinate, self-express himself, work in a team and follow discipline.

5. Even plants are known to thrive towards music as they too respond to sound in the same way as a human does.

6. Music brings a devotee closer to his god and this is the reason why religious hymns lift up the heaviness of the mind and free the soul.

7. It is also used for meditative properties used for training, healing, exercising and releasing tensions.

8. People perform better when music is played because it erases the mental tension and introduces lightness in the body.

9. Music and songs have always captured feelings, passions, agony, and distress more efficiently during love and romance.

10. It is also used by scientists to map behavior and functions of the human mind.

Classical music is known to soothe and open the channels of the mind whereas rock music sets your pulses to racing and chants can send you to trace. The future of music business has also taken manifolds in the recent times due to these advantages. Music has different effects upon various human beings depending upon the use.

---

---

---

Enter the WORLD OF MUSIC

Technology has made our lives simpler and with the new developments in technology not only is life getting simpler but technology is continuing to make more differences in our lives by contributing to various spheres of our lives like entertainment. With the internet, all this has now come to our very doorstep at just the click of the mouse.

Earlier for the purpose of listening to a song at least a visit to your local music store was required and seeing a video meant watching the band perform at one of their concerts or then getting a music video from the music store. Now anytime you wish to listen to some great music or watch a music video just log on and you can watch your favourite songs or watch free music videos and watch music videos in the comfort of your home. There is just no need anymore to venture out, technology has brought everything you desire right into your home or workplace.

There is good news for all music lovers. Now with internet technology, music fans can not only listen to their favourite artists but also watch free lyrics.  All the songs are available at just a click sitting in the comfort of your home. Not only can you now watch songs but also song lyrics and hear and enjoy the music and even sing along with the lyrics and all available to you.

The Internet is a world of choices for all music lovers and provides you all the information and the latest happenings in the music world. You can be up to date on all music news and the current hits on the US top 20 or the singles charts. The music site offers you the flexibility of watching your favourite stars totally uninterrupted(free from all the hosts). The music site is a legal way to watch music unlike using pirated versions.

It not only the music enthusiasts but also the music companies that have realized the potential of the internet as a great marketing tool for promoting their music.  You can not only watch music videos but also rate music videos. This would be useful to the other members in making a decision on their watches and also provides a good feedback to the music companies about the choices or preferences of the fans.

The music site thus provides you access into a whole world of music and music alone where you are the King. You can decide as to what you want and bring it home with just a click. You can then listen to the music of your choice or watch music videos at your own convenience and even rewind and see your favourite music videos over and over again. The world of music is now waiting for you to explore and soak in all that you can. Just log on and at the click, you can venture into this beautiful melodious world and be lost in the tunes and rhythms of your favourite stars.

---

---

Enter the world of MUSIC

Technology has made our lives simpler and with the new developments in technology not only is life getting simpler but technology is continuing to make more differences in our lives by contributing to various spheres of our lives like entertainment . With the internet all this has now come to our very doorstep at just the click of the mouse. 

Earlier for the purpose of listening to a song atleast a visit to your local music store was required and seeing a video meant watching the band perform at one of their concerts or then getting  a music video from the music store. Now anytime you wish to listen to some great music or watch a music video just log on and you can watch your favourite songs or watch free music videos and watch music videos in the comfort of your home. There is just no need anymore to venture out , technology has brought everything you desire right into your home or workplace. 

There is good news for all music lovers . Now with internet technology , music fans can not only listen to their favourite artists but also watch free lyrics.  All the songs are available at just a click sitting in the comfort of your home. Not only can you now watch songs but also song lyrics and hear and enjoy the music and even sing along with the lyrics and all available to you. 

Internet is a world of choices for all music lovers and provides you all the information and the latest happenings in the music world. You can be up to date on all music news and the current hits on the US top 20 or the singles charts. The music site offers you the flexibility of watching your favourite stars totally uninterrupted(free from all the hosts) . The music site is a legal way to watch music unlike using pirated versions .

It not only the music enthusiasts but also the music companies that have realized the potential of the internet as a great marketing tool for promoting their music.  You can not only watch music videos but also rate music videos. This would be useful to the other members in making a decision on their watchs and also provides a good feedback to the music companies about the choices or preferences of the fans. 

The music site thus, provides you access into a whole world of music and music alone where you are the King. You can decide as to what you want and bring it home at just a click. You can then listen to the music of your choice or watch music videos at your own convenience and even rewind and see your favourite music videos over and over again. The world of music is now waiting for you to explore and soak in all that you can. Just log on and at the click you can venture into this beautiful melodious world and be lost in the tunes and rhythms of your favourite stars.

---

---

MUSIC Inside Us

Everyone of us has music inside. And it is not an abstract statement, but scientifically proved fact. Molecules of DNA "sound" inside us and it is very important if music from outside is in keeping with music inside us.

Scientists pay great attention to researches concerning music’s influence on human beings. Attention to such researches has increased recently and their results are interesting and convincing. For example, after listening classical music cows have increased their yield of milk and mimosa and petunias have grown faster and burst into bloom 2 weeks earlier. 120 breast-feed mothers took part in experiment in Japan. Some women listened classical music, other women listened pop and rock music. In first group the amount of milk increased in 20 per cent, and in second group - reduced twice.

Such researches are the attempt to synthesise science and art (music). But in ancient India science and art were considered to be the parts of single creative power. All knowledge of ancient India one can find in the Vedas (Holy Indian Scripture) and one of four main Vedas Sama-Veda is entirely dedicated to music. According to the Vedas the creating of the world started from the primordial sound "OM", which appeared while division of the Almighty (Sadashiva) and his creative energy (Adi Shakti). "OM" was the foundation of the universe and the first musical sound.

Human subtle system consists of 7 main chakras (energetic centres) and 3 channels, which rule mental, emotional and physical life activity of person. 7 chakras of our subtle body revolve with certain frequency and form an octave, which consists of 7 tones of proper altitude. Intervals between them should reflect intervals between chakras. These tones were called musical sounds - notes (’svars’ in Indian music). They sound - sa, re, ga, ma, pa, da, ni and they are in keeping with chakras - from first till seventh. 5 notes can change (fall and rise), creating 5 additional sounds (left and right aspects of chakras). Thus, these notes are built-in subtle body and represent the ideal "repository" of information, the repository of those feelings, emotions, wishes and thoughts, which composer or performer has.

While listening music a person receives some influence on subtle level, which later appears on physical body. Same notes can bring destruction or good, it depends on the inner condition of person. For example, anger, aggression, drug intoxication and so on, which have power over the mind of composer or musician, will find the reflection in his music. There are some styles and forms in music which reflect only such bad qualities. Such music may do harm not only the musician, but also a person who listen to it. Clear, inspired people, who have lucid mind will never create such music. They created only folk music with great variety and classical music which has its roots in folk music.

Let’s listen to music, which is in keeping with music inside us.

---

---

Memories Are Made Of This : The Golden Years of The SIXTIES Music Revolution

Notes from an era of true free expression where we were "spoilt for choice" with the newest musical innovators. Before the onslaught of the digital age and the polarisation of modern music we experienced a cultural revolution which, in my humble opinion, has yet to be equalled in successive generations ...

Cropped screenshot of Bing Crosby from the trailer for the film Road to Singapore. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I suppose my first realisation that music was something more relevant than learning the words to carols for the school Christmas concert was appreciating my Dad's collection of 78s'. He was a man with unusual tastes in music. My contemporys' parents listened to American crooners, like Bing Crosby, Dean Martin and the like, or the big band sounds of the day.

But my Dad had individual tastes which included Eastern European folk music, Scottish bagpipe ballads and Welsh miners choirs; plus my first introduction to classical such as exciting pieces like Aram Khachaturian's "Sabre Dance".

My Mother, a dedicated Crosby fan, disliked these strange sounds to the extent that she banished any playing of the 'caterwauling' to our barn, a large wooden structure at the back of the house. This suited my Dad, and me, just fine.

He would mend bikes and tinker with machinery in one corner, while I would curl up on a battered leather sofa looking at pictures in old movie magazines, giggling at jokes in back copies of Lilliput and reading girlie type books (Little Women, Black Beauty etc.) while the haunting strains of Bulgarian womens' voices, Highland airs or the overwhelming sound of Welshmen giving it their all emanated from the old wind up gramaphone; memories are made of this.

Musically I've come full circle. with the increasing popularity of 'world music' I am, once again, enjoying Bulgarian women's harmonies and Welsh folk songs along with the exciting newcomers from African and Latin American roots.

Every generation, mostly, think that they have experienced the 'best' period of topical music, but I do feel that the sixties were a special case. Consider this; any weekend my friends and I had a difficult decision to make. Did we go 'up town' to Ken Colliers to see American blues stars like Big Bill Broonzy or jazz giants like Dizzy Gillespie; or perhaps to the Marquee or 100 Club to listen to the up and coming Britishers like Paul Weller in the Jam, Eric Clapton and the Yardbirds and Georgie Fame with the All Stars.

Or did we stay closer to home and go to the Riki Tik in Windsor and risk asphyxiation in the tiny room listening to an exciting new group called the Rolling Stones. And that was only the start; what about Osterley where you could hear John Lee Hooker, Sonny Terry and Brownie McGee and any number of other Southern American blues stars; or Windsor Drill hall where, on a Friday night you could enjoy the best of Cyril Davies and the All Stars, which usually featured one of my favourites, Long John Baldry.

And, if you were willing to risk parental wrath, it had to be Eel Pie Island in Twickenham, a den of iniquity where you could hear the best of new rhythm and blues; smell strange substances burning in the air and where I first encountered psychadelia in the shape of Pink Floyd whose innovative light shows of coloured lava lamp blobs popping and forming ever different shapes were the precursor of the giant video screens of today. To say we were spoilt for choice is not to overwork a phrase.

I haven't even mentioned the many folk clubs sprinkled about which I visited with my friend Lucy as a guest singing duo, where we shared stages with the likes of Bert Jantz, Duster Bennett, Cat Stevens . . We would travel to isolated venues in the heart of the Berkshire countryside and find ourselves in a barn somewhere, with people sitting on hay bales and listening to the stirring voices and lyrics of Sandy Denny, Davy Graham and John Remborne, or even the Wurzels (bring your own cider!).

If you wanted to dance, but strictly not ballroom, you could stomp the night away at a selection of 'trad jazz' clubs. Bands of various styles were always on tap; Dick Morrisey, the aforementioned Ken Collier, Acker Bilk; It really was a golden age for live music of every kind. And it didn't cost an arm and a leg to indulge yourself. If we paid more than a couple of quid to get in we felt hard done by. Even special occasions, like seeing the Who or Cream at the Hammersmith Odeon were cheap at the price.

Wherever we hung out with our mates there was music. This was the age of the coffee bar, always with a juke box in the corner belting out such classics as 'Dock on the Bay', or Buddy Holly's latest or Aretha Franklin, Jimi Hendrix, Joan Biaz; where to stop! Before the fashion for 'personalised music' (catered for firstly by the Walkman and now in it's newest incarnation, the ipod) the latest tunes brought like minds together. A normal Saturday outing was to the local record shop where friends would crowd into a booth together to hear the latest in the 'charts'.

Maybe it was all just 'fashion' but, as the years race by, that sixties music has stood the test of time. Many of our heroes are still household names. Our children still appreciate such giants as Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix and Otis Redding. The likes of Paul Weller, Rod Stewart, the Rolling Stones still tour all over the world. Am I showing my age when I find it hard to appreciate modern day offerings? Of course I am but no more than any other person who has let music into their life.

From the moment the first cave man (or woman) discovered how to make musical 'sounds' from reeds or rocks, water or wood, we have enjoyed the privilege of a great gift. How to explain the catch at the back of the throat when we hear a familiar song or melody? How to describe the pure feeling of exhilaration and joy as many human voices come together to sing some particularly uplifting work. I dare anyone to say they have never felt that. And if some hardened souls insist that is the case; well I feel very sorry for them.

Author:Fabio Marcell